


Until The End

by SourApple



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Bad Flirting, Bad Puns, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Coming of Age, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Original Character Death(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Build, Strained Friendships, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-09-20 19:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17028465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourApple/pseuds/SourApple
Summary: We live to fight another day, until we fade away.





	1. Prologue

I wake up to a fluffy chickadee tweeting obnoxiously on the windowsill. The dull room glowing a soft golden hue from the morning sun. I lay there under the blankets watching the bird dive out of sight. Thank christ it left, damn bird was starting to get on my nerves. The door cracks open, Marie pokes her head into the bedroom. Her brown curly locks falling in her heartshaped face, a faint smile playing on her lips. "You're awake, good. The sooner we leave the better. Sam's about ready to hit the road." Her steely blue eyes watch me closely, while fixing her bangs behind her ear. "I'll be down in'a bit. Still gotta change my clothes." She nods, pulling her beanie over her crazy curls. "Sam and I'll be in the kitchen waiting." She closes the door, leaving me to it. 

 

Since we've been split up from our original group, the three of us have been moving from place to place. Barely keeping track of where we go. I do believe we're _still_ in Virginia. We mostly keep to small towns to avoid large groups of shamblers. But they can't be avoided altogether, we occasionally find at least two or three of them in houses or out in the woods. We can take at least a small group of 'em, maybe like five or six. But that's Sam's call. It's been hard since we don't have eight other pairs of eyes to help out with scavenging  ** _and_**  night watch. Somehow we've been managing out here like this for nearly half a year. Although our supplies is running low, if we can't find anything in three days, we're screwed.

Right now we're walking in the middle of a broad highway old cars litter the roadway. "Elliot, hop up on my back." Sam's brash voice takes me off guard. He looks down at me, crouching to my height. I nod, returning his soft smile and latch onto his shoulders, he holds my knees in his hands. We occasionally do this when we haven't seen anything _alive_ _or_ _dead_ for miles. Samuel is like the big brother I never had, same goes for Marie, but y'know she's a sister. So in return, I'm like a little brother to them. They both are the babies of their families. Or.. _were_...would be a better word, cause we have no idea if the rest of our group is alive. 

"Doesn't it seem weird that we haven't seen anything?" Marie's quiet voice rivals the chatty crows. "Think there might be a larger group around here or something?" The cherokee asks her. "Yeah, most places we go through are picked clean, it's a dead giveaway." Sam nods sighing. "I think you're right." An awkward thick silence fills the area as we walk. I catch Marie come to a stop, a distraught look etching into her face. I tap his shoulder getting his attention. Then point bebind me when his dark eyes meet mine.

Sam quits walking then lowers me to my feet, the both of us turn our attention to her. "You guys wonder if it's a good idea to look for this group?" Her wide eyes jumping between us. "What if they're bad people?" She mainly stares at Sam for an answer. "Then we'll simply move on." The cherokee waves his hand to the side. She sighs steeply, her hands fly to her temples. "..What if they come after us?" Marie looks genuinely scared. She doesn't get spooked easily, so this is kinda scary. Sam takes hold of her hand, mine too. I hold her other hand, squeezing it. His dark hues shift from hers to mine. "We'd find a way out, I'd be sure of that." He declares, straightening his back standing tall. Sam is the person that I want to become. Putting others safety before his. Keeping spirits high despite all the suffering. Being that ray of hope for others to look up to. I want that optimism, but it's hard to see that we'll get through this.

"What if  _they_  find us?" We ran into a not so friendly group maybe a week ago. Well two guys from that group anyway. Sam was out scavenging through a nearby house, while Marie and I stayed behind making mac'n cheese from a box. My stomach churns every time I think of mac'n cheese now, and it used to be my favorite meal. "Hey, listen to me. You were protecting yourself. That shit excuse of a man tried to _rape_ you. In my eyes, he deserved _worse_ than a knife in his neck." Marie's lip quivers, tears streak down her cheeks. Sam goes to hug her, but she pushes him away shaking and takes a step away from us. "Nono! Don't..please.." He flinches biting his lip, a hurt gaze leaking from his eyes. "Sorry.." She shakes her head and sobs. "No! It's - it's me. It's just every time you guys touch me, I hear his voice.." She hugs herself, staring down at the concrete road. "Marie, Elliot and I are here for you every step of the way." He pauses clearing his throat. "I-..we love you." The cherokee takes a step closer to her. Marie bobs her head sniffling, still glaring at her boots. "..I kn-..I know.. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Sam moves closer to Marie, leaving a foot or so between them. He speaks softly to her, holding his hand outstretched to her. "Hey, hey don't apologize for how you're feeling. We'll talk about it when you're ready. I won't rush you, nobody will." She gazes up to Sam, her glassy wet eyes stand out among the puffy redness swelling her face. When Marie finally pieces herself back together, we continue down the highway.

 

Hours pass and we come across is a lonely run down gas station. By the state of it, I doubt there's anything left to loot. But we approach the place anyway. I pull out my knife, keeping my hand low for now. Marie and I keep our distance, sticking to the side of the windowless wall. Sam throws a rock into the doorway, trying to lure any shamblers out of the building.

"Whut the fuck was that?" The man's gravelly voice sends electric sparks of fear through me, it can't be him. Sam slips next to Marie, a finger to his lips as he glances to us. "Who's there? I know it ain't no biter. They can't _throw_ fuckin' _rocks_." Oh god, it _is_  him..

Two shadows slowly stretch towards us. Sam has his Beretta at the ready, knife in his other hand. Marie takes out her AMT Audomag from it's holster. With steady hands, I swap out my knife for my Colt 1911. Feeling even more on edge than I should. 

"..Sam..." Marie whispers, I look up at her. Her eyes wide with fear, she's staring behind me. Her shoulders slump, I don't even have to look to know that we're sandwiched between these people.

"Now, now let's not get trigger happy." My attention snaps to an old man, the one that Marie must have spotted. He's got a greying beard, deep set wrinkly eyes and short oily greying hair. To his left is another guy, tall and scrawny with dark hair. They both have their guns aimed at us. I assume the other two are mirroring them. This is bad, like really, really bad. I glance over to the other two guys, immediately recognising the hick. A gross bubbling feeling claws up my throat, as the man locks his eyes on Marie. "That's the bitch that killed Jeb!" He nearly spits on her. Every cell in my body dares me to _scream, aim and fire_ a damn bullet into his disgusting head. "Now Will, didn't this lil' lady _let you_ _live_? What happened back in that house again?" The bearded man asks, staring at Marie. "...They uh..they tried to..to rape me.." The old man tilts his head to the side, his eagle eyes taking the three of us in. His gaze lingers the most on Marie. "Ya'ller just a bunch of kids, ya'll lost or somethin'?"

Sam speaks up. "Something like that." The man smirks, letting out a dry laugh. All four men stand around us in a semi circle, our backs facing the brick wall. "What're ya'll's names, in return we'll tell ya ours." The old man stares us down. Sam stays quiet, obviously not buying this guys 'nice' act. The old man shoots his eyes to my gun then shakes his head, again he laughs. 

"Tell me boy, you know how to shoot that gun? 'Cause I definitely wouldn't trust a damn kid with one." The old man pauses waiting for me to say something. When I glare back at him, he continues. "Scars like that ya don't see everyday, especially on a kid. How'd ya get 'em?" Marie shoves me behind her, her shoulders bulk back up. "Leave him alone!" Almost instantly, he gets in her face, digging his gun into the side of her head. "Thinkin' ya got away scott free girly? Think that I'd let a brat like ya ta kill one'a my men without any consequences?! Think again,  _sweetheart_!"

A gun shot explodes through the air. My whole body screams at Marie. For a split second everyone holds their breath. I wait for her to drop, but her body isn't the one that falls. It's the old man, he crumples to the pavement like a newspaper. I stare at the bullet hole in his head, blood slowly streams down his face. His eyes are open and bloodshot. Without hesitation, Sam shoots the men on his side and Marie shoots the last one. 

"Run! Go, go!" Sam pushes us on. "Get behind the building!" As soon as we get behind cover Marie jumps to making a plan B. "Where do we go from here Sam?" She yells at him. "Sam?" My hands feel sweaty and shaky, every breath seems like it could be my last. "I don't know! I-" He shouts back, running a hand through his hair. "Wolf, Short, Highland! It's Fleming!!" The three of us stare at each other in awe. Months...five months..."Amos!" I chant, turning on my heels. Everything around me seems to slow down as he comes into my view around the corner. "Elliot wait!!" Sam curses at me, but I dismiss him. "It's safe to come out, I promise!" Amos yells across the way.

Amos drops his pack and sniper, next to an older man before meeting me halfway. He smooshes me in a tight hug, he's shaking. We stand there for so long. When Amos does let me go, there's a huge wet patch on his shirt. Sam looks like he just seen a ghost. Amos hugs both Marie and Sam at the same time. "Who is-" Sam didn't even get a chance to finish his sentence. "He's with me. He's a good person, has a community. It's safe. Tall, strong walls, houses, running water..Food." Marie's eyes shine, about to say something. "Are the others there?" The pause of silence is deafing. "..No...I've been trying to find anyone from our group for so..so long." A mix between sadness and anger radiates off him. "I finally found a part of it." His glassy hazel eyes glance over each of us, a strangled smile forms on his lips. "Let's go home."


	2. Eldewisse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ima warn everyone now. This series is heavily based on the comics. But that doesn't mean I won't stretch some issues out. Probably should've established that like what? Months ago?? Haha oops..

Turns out that we aren't the only scavengers that Aaron has taken back to his safe zone. I think he called it Alexandria? Amos was with the other group on the road for a while too. Said they were good people.

Aaron hands Sam a protein bar for us to share, he splits it between us. He hands the first chunk to me, second to Marie. His piece is half the size of mine. Locking eyes with the cherokee, they say 'It's okay' with a small smile. All I do is sigh through my nose, and chew the bar. "There's more where that came from." Aaron grins, reading my worried mind. He is way too nice, almost to the point where it's suspicious. But if Amos trusts him, then I won't think anything of it. Aaron says his car isn't that far past the gas station, he and Amos lead the way.

Birds fly overhead, singing away happily. Marie keeps looking behind us ever so often. We aren't that noisy are we? "How did you three get outta that town alive?" Amos asks us as we walk. "We stuck close together. And coated ourselves in bitter guts, hoping it'd mask us." Sam sighs, laying his hand on my shoulder, pulling me to his side. "Obviously it worked, or you guys wouldn't be here. Smart thinkin'." A large crooked grin stretches across the snipers face. I glance up at Sam, he looks down at me. His cheeks hide his dark eyes. "Want up?" I nod, and again I'm hoisting myself onto Sam's back. I practicly wrap around the Cherokee out of excitement. Sam chuckles "Didn't think we had a spider monkey all this time. Ease up there kiddo!" I try my best to calm my nerves. But the thought of more food is exciting.

"Sorry Sam." I cringe at the rusty sound of my voice. "Don't worry about it." He hums, relaxing obviously feeling secure. The walk is clear, with very few decaying bodies laying around. Ignore that spider crawling into that guys mouth. It needs a home, just like you. "Just a heads up, you guys will be interviewed by Douglas Monroe. He's the man in charge of Alexandria." Aaron warns us, as we pile in the back of the car. "He's pretty easy going, also way more of a talker than I am." Aaron laughs. Amos grins back at us, adjusting his glasses. "Ya'll fly through 'em quick, it won't take long at all." Amos adds. Aaron starts the car up and off we drive down the highway.

Silence is hard to deal with when people are around me. Even after all this time on the road, I can't cope with silence. Marie is on my right, leaning into the door. Her hair is covering her face like thick brambles. Sam lightly taps his fingers on his knees, looking out the window. I catch Aaron looking at me in the rear veiw mirror. We stare at each other for a few seconds before he snaps his eyes back to the road. I glare at my lap, my cheeks getting that funny burning, tingly feeling.

_It's too quiet..._

-U-

When Aaron slows down, I start to feel anxious, wringing my fingers in my lap. The walls of this place tower over us, rather, it feels like they do. We stop in front of a huge gate, two guys move it with ease and in we go. House after house line back as far as the eye can see. We pull up to the closest one. This feels weird, so weird. Long lost memories sprout up out of nowhere, and I hate it so much. Seems so foreign now, sitting in a car outside of a house that's _safe_.

"Elliot?" Sam rips my attention to him, he's standing tall outside the car waiting patiently for me to get out. He gives me the biggest smile that makes his eyes play hide and seek again. Slowly I scoot outta the car, some kids and a group of grownups watch us. Only then I realize how gross we are. It's been so long since I've see so many people in one place, I can't feel my face. I wring my hands nervously, scanning the area. "Hey, we're gonna be okay." Sam holds my shoulder, his eyes full of hope. I only nod folding my arms over my chest. Trying my best to keep cool. Marie joins us in the middle of the road, she gives me a tired smile. I hadn't noticed the dried crusty smears of blood on her cheek until now, regardless, I smile back anxiously.

 Aaron points to a house across the street. "That's where Douglas lives. He'll want to talk with you guys before taking you on a tour." Aaron waves, sending us a lively smile as he enters the house we pulled up to. "Samuel, I'da suggest that you talk to 'em first." Amos scratches his salt and pepper chin, setting his eyes on the cherroke. "Don't worry too much about people starrin' at ya either. Jus' be polite." Amos's steely hazel hues melt as they coast over the three of us.

"Well, I better get on over there. You gonna hang around?" Sam jabs his thumb to Marie and I, the sniper nods smiling, clapping him on the back. "Course, I'll be right here when you get back." Sam glances at me then to Marie, his dark eyes giving a silent command. He leaves us with a small grin, I watch him disappear into the house. Everything is gonna be okay, nothing is out of the ordinary so far. Well, except for the lack of shamblers. That's a plus I guess.

Marie taps Amos on his shoulder. "Can you tell me what happened to my parents, my brother?" Marie pauses "My aunt?" Only sounding more broken. "I'll fill ya'll in after the tour." A grave look crosses his face. "No! I need to know what happened after Woodbridge." She presses. "Not now Marie," Amos calmly replies, his sharp gaze flashing  between us. "Samuel has to know too, it involves everyone. Not just you." He pushes his glasses back up his nose. "I know that, I - I just need closure." Marie hugs herself, staring at the pavement. "I know, we all do.." He sighs. Marie looks like she would break at the slightest touch. I can't stand seeing her so...weak. She use to be able to hide her emotions super well. Even Sam had to ask her a few times if she was okay. Guess she's tired of holding everything in, so am I.

 "I'll be right back, gotta put up my gun'n knife." We both follow his line of sight. A woman with long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail smiles at us as she strolls up. "Looks like ya got some company comin', everythin'll be alright." The sniper smiles, leaving us. 

The womans' smile falters when she glances over to me. There's a brief mixture of pity and sadness showing through her turquoise eyes. A single scar scrapes down the curvature of her cheek. Hers looks flawless compared to mine. Even as she stares, I give her a small nervous grin. Her smile returns quickly, her eyes dance between us. "I'm Andrea, welcome to Alexandria." I can't help but feel everyones eyes glue themselves to me. I tune out the conversation, trying to avoid all the attention. God, I wouldn't mind booking it over that gate right now if it means I won't be stared at like some _freak_. Maybe I am a freak. The voice in my head screeches above the clouds for everyone, including the dead to stop and stare at the freakshow of a kid. I imagine that I'd have a sign reading in bold red paint _'The Slit Mouthed Kid'_. 

 "...lay? Elliot?" A large hand envelopes my shoulder, snapping me out of my trance. My wide eyes meet tired hazel ones. "Go play with 'em." Amos nods his head to two other kids. Both around my age, a boy wearing a cowboy hat and a blonde girl with almost as many freckles as me. My body feels like a brick of lead, my mouth flops uselessly. "They're nice, I promise ya that." When did he come back? Heck, probably when I was in my own little world. "Oh - o-okay." I stumble towards the pair, feeling way out of place.

 The girl is beaming at me like there isn't anything wrong with me. It almost makes me feel _normal_. "What's your name? Mine is Sofia, and this is Carl!" She says excitedly, obviously happy to have another kid around. I clear my throat trying to evade talking as much as I have to as we walk. _Hold your head high, chin out and eyes forward._ "Elliot Highland." _Keep one foot in front of the other. Breathe, don't forget to breathe dear._  "She your mom?" _...Breathe dear.._ "Noo.." _Play the part like you live it._ "Doesn't she take care of you?" _Remember that I'm always there in the crowd cheering you on._ "Ye - yeah..but she's - Marie i - is not _my_ mother." Sofia goes to say something else, but the cowboy intervenes with a sigh. "Weren't we gonna head to the pond?" Silently I thank this angel in disguise. He pulls his lips into a tight akward smile, like this happens often. "Oh yeah! Let's go, c'mon, the others must be waiting!" Wait? Others? I feel myself tense up even more. _Great_ just what I need, a welcome party. 

 The pond isn't too far out of the way from the houses, but it's far enough to make it feel secluded. I think it's because of the two large trees, and cattail plants. Combining all of 'em they give a great amount of shade and privacy. No wonder they come out here, this seems like a nice place to relax. Three other boys are  waiting for us to venture over to them. The tallest of the bunch is leaning against the tree, tounge poking into his cheek looking rather bored. I'd say he looks to be about thirteen, maybe fourteen? With shaggy dark hair and fair skin. One boy that I assume to be his brother, is hunched over swirling a stick in the water. And the third is waving us over, holding a blob in his other hand? His right eye is swollen, the skin around it a cringy mix of pale yellow and deep purple. I swear his ingured eye almost bugs out even more when we come up to him. The blob is actually a fat brown frog, it leaps outta his hand and dives into the pond, splashing stick boy in the face.

"Yaa!! Ron! What the frick?! Why'd you-" He immediately glares up, noticing me. The stick drops from his fingers, eyes growing the size of golf balls. Sofia smiles bright again, gesturing to the freak standing next to her. "Everyone, this is Elliot. Elliot meet Lance," Okay that's shaggy "Mikey," Stick boy "And Ron." Aaannddd frogger. I give them a wave and a polite smile. _Chin up, eyes forward._ You can get through this, just like riding a bike.

"Well, Elliot, what's your story?" Lance cocks his head to the side, slinking up from the tree, arms crossing over his chest. All I do is shrug, his face contorts like he ate a lemon  "A shrug? Really?" Ron gives him a warning look. "Lance.." The shaggy haired boy squits his earthy brown ords at me. Taking a step towards me. "No, I'm curious about how you got that lovely frown of yours. So do tell." _Do onto others how you wish to be treated_. I sigh through my nose, standing my ground. Gazing straight through those dark puddles of mud. "S'none of your business." He smirks, thinking he's fresh outta the oven. "Uhh yeah it is. We needa know if you'll turn out to be crazy."  He points at me, taking another step closer, right next to cowboy. "I'm not crazy." I state in a matter of fact voice, clenching my fists. His wolfish grin is starting to piss me off. _'Jus' be polite'._ "That's what they all say." Lance says. In a sing-song tone, leaning back on his heels. "Do you even _know_ what it's like out there beyond those walls?" Anger begins to boil up from my feet, creeping up my legs. "Who did it?" He presses on. "S'not your problem." Mikey stands to his full height, which isn't too tall, heaving a loud sigh. "Leave him alone Lance." He takes a few more steps, standing right in front of my trembling form. A sick sadistic grin flashes across his lips. "Was it someone you knew?" "Cut it out!" Carl practicly yells at the older boy. But that jus' encourages him on, as I've noticed. "Did one of your parents do it?" A dull, emotionless look passes over him. He goes to chew a nail. I jus' continue to stare into his careless, empty eyes. "Lance stop it!" Sofias' plea falls on deaf ears, as he leans down in my face, getting in my personal bubble. The sour face surfaces back to him, then quickly turns into a nasty grin. "Oh! I get it now, it was dear ol'daddy!!"

White hot rage sets my skin on fire. I barely feel the impact of the harsh grass as I tackle him. Every sporadic breath feels like tiny pins are sinking deep in my lungs. Every crushing punch not quenching the fury I feel, at this point I think _nothing_ will. Red, warm goo stains my knuckles making them sticky and gross. Someone pulls me back with brute strength, someone else is screaming. Screaming for their life. Oh god, oh god, where's Marie?! Is Jeb back with his sick group? Is she alright? Sam?! ...Sam?

He's kneeling infront of me, his wide black voids taking in every shread of boiling anger into them. His lips are moving but I can't hear him, he holds my face in his rough hands. I can't stop shaking, it hurts to breathe. Am..am I dying? I feel like I'm dying. He squeezes me into a tight hug, swaying me back and forth in a slow rythem.

 Hot tears burn lava paths down my scared face. I try, I swear I'm trying my best to calm every nerve that is flaring up inside my body. They just won't stop. Sam pulls back into my sight, his hands rest on my tiny shoulders, eyes full of tears. They ask a simple silent question. "M'sorrym'sorrym'sorry! I - itwasmyfault.." My voice barely carries out, feeling like there is a sparkler being forced down my throat. Was I the one screaming? Dread seeps through my blood, watching Sams' tears streak down his dirty cheeks. Realization crashes into me at the thought of what I have just done.

I just ruined our chance at being able to live in this safe zone. I ruined it. I screwed up big time. He rests his head on mine. "You gotta tell me what happened, Elliot." His voice is shaky like the rest of his body. The cherokee sits back on his legs, watching me closely. "He...h- he  wanted...To know..." I pause trying to moisten my tounge. Still attempting to calm myself down. "To know..who..." I gesture to my mouth. His eyes slowly close tight, again he pulls me into another comforting hug. 

 I could feel another presence behind us, Sam breathes in steeply. "Rick, I swear Elliot wouldn't hurt anyone without a reason to do so." He lets go of me, his eyes pleading for mercy, giving the man his attention. I turn to face the tall, blonde man. Ricks' eyes widen some, the rest of his face staying frozen. The man sighs lightly, his gaze scanning over everyone. "I still need to ask a few questions." Someone huffs. "It's the same thing that always happens. My brother being stupid!" Stick boy speaks quickly clearly annoyed, taking a breath only to keep rambling. "He deserved a good punch or two to the face." A loud, wet spit follows after Mikeys' outburst. My guess is that it came from Lance. "Shhhut y - your hole!" Yep. I dig my feet into the ground, knowing good and well if I turn around that I'd leap back to that jerk and finish him off for good. "Boys, stop. I'll talk with Elliot first. Lance, head to the infirmary, I'll chat with you shortly. Carl, could'ja help him get there?" Ricks' voice is calm as can be. "I'll help too.." The misery and embarrassment shines though the younger siblings' tone. 

 Rick motions me to follow him, and I do. We walk a good ten feet from everyone else, maybe more. I peek back at Sam for a split second, knowing that the cherokee is trying his best to remain calm. He stands there watching us, hands on his hips, chest heaving. Everything in my body still feels jittery. I feel like I might puke whatever is in my stomach into the grass with how bad I'm shaking. "You alright?" I nod once, staring straight into Ricks' cloudless bule eyes.

"Now I need you to be honest with me," Rick pauses watching me, face stoic. "What went on back there?" Breathe, jus' be polite and tell the truth. "He wanted to know who gave me these scars." I try my hardest to keep my voice from getting wonkey. "I told 'em it was none'a his business. But that jerk kept goin' an' goin'." He casually shoves one hand in his coat pocket, speaking in a much calmer tone. "What made you boil over?" Breaking eye contact with him, I stare at my bloodied knuckles.

"He asked.." Oh god I can't breathe. "He asked if my dad..did.." I choke back the tears that threaten to fall. Ricks' left hand firmly grips my shoulder, this draws my attention back to him. "He- he'd never...He wouldn't.." The concrete dam finally crumbles, as my tears spill over again, remorse fills the mans' eyes. "I've never been that angry before.." I look at my boots, regretting everything that happened moments ago. "Is it alright if you tell me who actually done it?" I wipe my face practicly glaring up at Rick, voice broken, but bold. "All you need to know is that Sam saved my life." His eyebrows shoot up, arm rectacting to his side, he glances behind me. Most likely looking Sam over. Without skipping a beat he moves on. "I see you have a gun. I'm impressed you didn't threaten Lance with it." I was too angry to even think about it, I'm surprised I didn't pull my knife out. "That didn't even cross my mind." Guess I have to thank my fists for that at least. But still, everyone will want me dead. "We'll be thrown out, won't we?" The man rubs his neck, clearly unsure how to answer that question. "I can't say for sure. That's Douglass' decision, not mine." Sympathy drips from his eyes as he lets out a long sigh. "It's rough out there, I know. You should get cleaned up, you'll feel better." 

 Rick claps my shoulder, walking me back to the group by the pond. Color finally returns to Sams' face, he takes in a deep breath looking me over. Amos is standing by the road not too far away chit chatting with a couple of other people. One is tall and build like a tank, with a ginger handlebar mustache. He kinda reminds me of Copper, one of Sams' brothers. The other is a woman with short choppy dark hair she doesn't look much older than Sam. Sofia is standing close to her. They can't be related, that lady is way too young to be her mom. The lady catches me staring, I quickly turn away, tuning back in on the conversion concerning us staying here. "I can take Elliot there, won't be a big deal. Marie might be done soon." Whatever, I missed most of what the men were talking about anyway. "Like I said everything will be fine. I gotta head over to the infirmary, I'll stop by after." Rick finishes, waving us off. "Okay, uhh..we'll be there." Sam nervously smiles as we watch Rick make his way to Amos. I look up at Sam, he looks down at me. We both chuckle. "Guess we both'r bad at talking, huh?" He jokes, slinging his arm around my shoulders and laughs. I nod beaming at the grass. 

I had to give my gun and knife up. I feel so naked and light without the familiar weight of my holster. I don't like this feeling. It doesn't feel right at allbeing so.. _defenseless_. Well guess I'm not _that_ defenseless, but no gun, no knife. I don't feel safe. Although I have my fists, if that counts for something. Olivia, I think is her name, asked if I wanted my hair cut I shook my head no. Sam told her maybe later, giving me an odd glance. But after that we walk way down the street to a little dull blue two story house. 

 This is so weird. Nothing is out of place when we enter the house. The thing that shocks me is how clean and untouched everything looks. I can't remember the last time I've seen a house like this. "Marie?" Sam calls out. She comes around the corner from the kitchen. Barefoot in a clean pair of jeans and a purple floral print shirt. Her hair wet and twice as long, without her beanie. Her smile uplifting the tense air around Sam and I. "Hey guys." I nod, Sam beams at her nervously. "Floral print?" The air quickly changes again, hard to place it really. "Mom liked these kinds of shirts." A sad awkward silence settles in. "It uh..it suits you." The cherokees' face darkens, they both share small smiles. "Thank you." She replies, looking at her feet. Okay this is painful to endure, they both clearly need to talk. I'm gone, goodbye don't needa hang around for this awkward crap. "I'm gonna take a shower.." Marie points to the stairs. "Upstairs. The bathroom is the first on the right." I nod again making a break for the bathroom. 

 -U-

I missed hot water, heck, I missed running water in general. I haven't felt this clean in forever. Rick was right, I feel so much better. Wouldn't be surprised if I used all the hot water up. I wipe the mirror off, looking at the unrecognizable eleven year old kid staring back at me. My eyes are still the same blue-green mess they've always been. I think more splotches of freckles have invaded my face and shoulders this year. Maybe I shoulda let Olivia cut my hair, it's clawing down my neck and swaying in my face, the usual red locks appearing darker. I can't avoid the ugly gashes splaying from the corners of my mouth. Guess they help make me look tougher than I actually am. They also make me look less like a girl, not that it matters. But they help keep this facade going for me. 

 What would Sam and Marie do if I told them who I really am? Geez, here I go again it has been how many years? Maybe they know, maybe they don't. Who cares enough in this world anyway? Surely they would still care about me. Sighing I pull the blue flannel over my head. Ehh it's a little baggy on me, but it'll do for now. Like Rick said 'Everything will be fine.' And it will be. 

 I leave the light on for Sam, he gives me a bright smile waiting patiently in the hall. "You should take a look around. Might find something you like." The cherokees' grin widens, as he slips into the bathroom. I give him a questionable glance. We have a piano. A freaking _piano._  I stumbled across it in the living room. It's tucked up against the inner wall of the stairs out of sight from the front door. I can't help but brush my fingers over the ivory keys. When was the last time I played a piano? I can't remember. Happy memories of my parents flood back to me. Mom would sing, while dad would play the piano. Sometimes I'd do both, although my singing would't be as good as moms. Sitting at the bench, I contemplate on playing something. I play the first thing that pops in my head. My fingers fly over the keys, taking pride in remembering the notes, even after all these years. I can almost hear mom singing.

_Edelweiss, Edelweiss,_  
_Every morning you greet me._  
_Small and white,_  
_Clean and bright,_  
_You look happy to meet me._

_Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow,_  
_Bloom and grow forever._  
_Edelweiss, Edelweiss,_  
_Bless my homeland forever._

 Fire hit the back of my neck when I finished playing. I turn to whoever is staring at me, only to see Rick and cowboy watching in awe. **_Breathe_**. _Breathe_ you gotta breathe! I see Rick glance to the stairs then back to me. But cowboys' dark brown eyes have a confused shine in them, and for some reason, I can't look away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this next chapter took forever, had a few rough months. Also chapters after this one might not be as lengthy. Don't be afraid to comment, I might not respond right off the bat though. Happy reading!


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